March......Holidays? Right.

Yeah, I'm still updating.

March holidays passed in a blur. It was a 9 day holiday, including the weekend. Felt like 2 days actually.

Jobweek was once again bloody retarded. Once again I failed the batch target. I didn't even reach half of it. Makes me jealous of everyone else with that mountain of notes and coins.

SUTC. I suppose before the camp I was quite excited about skipping the third day but strangely enough, when I left the den to get my bag I didn't really feel at all that happy.

Quick summary of events during SUTC:

Day 1
horseshoe
pumping
inspection (which sucked as usual)
flag break
-ABSENCE OF PT-
first aid teaching
lunch
stuff which i can't remember
footdrill
flag lowering
dinner
night orienteering (yeah we got second because we're just too pro)
SENTRY FTW

Oh and something really spastic happened on that night. We were all randoming around during sentry and then it started raining so we threw our bags into the shelter and I ran around the tents zipping them up and shoving shoes and uniforms under and into the tents respectively. So it sucked because I got wet and it sucked more cause I was too tired to go and change so I stayed wet for the rest of the day.

Day 2
horseshoe
PT (WHICH SUCKED)
breakfast
SOC
some survival thing which turned into 600+ clearing
lunch
SRITs
footdrill
flag lowering
dinner
go home feeling guilty about going home so early.

Yeah, so after that was Wednesday, which was the RE seminar which was the reason why we had to skip the last day, Thursday was (well deserved) rest and recuperation, friday was go to school to do some spastic compre then go for dentist, saturday was more R-R, sat night was falling sick, sunday sucked, Monday no school because of a 2 day MC for my fever + flu.

On a side note, I still have my bruise from like 10 days ago as mentioned in my previous post.

Updates

No, I'm not dead. Yes, I'm still alive.

Just a few quick updates. Tomorrow's Job Week (aka walk around and die week) and after that is SUTC (aka die). Feeling quite nervous about it, but I'm going home at 7am on the third day to skip 5 hours of the last part of it :) which of course, is the most "fun" part. I would have to go for some RE seminar. Lol.

On a side note, I banged my shin really really hard today while playing soccer and I can't walk properly so I'm not sure how I'm going to do Job Week tomorrow.

Sure, I'm stupid, everything I do is wrong, I'm this, I'm that

You know what? I don't give a shit.

Happy CNY

Yeah. A bit late, I know. But still.

This is another one of "those" posts. So skip if you feel like it. Frankly, I don't actually care that much. I'm not in much of a position to anyway. (BTW 1K VIEWS ON THIS BLOG WHOOHOO ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED)

Basic review of this year. More high hopes and expectations, but yet more disappointments and failures. Literally. And then there's this person who seems to think that everything I do is wrong and he's superior in every way. I won't actually name this person, and I'm not going to reveal it, but let's just say I've mentioned him before.

And you're just such a smug arrogant irritating little bitch. Everything you do is better, you're smarter, you're superior in every damn way. You call me fail and laugh. Maybe it's just a sign that you're what, trying to assert yourself? Boosting your ego at the expense of someone else's?

I don't think you actually realise it's affecting me in more ways than you think. Sure, I ignore it and sometimes reply with the usual humour and everything, but I think you've crossed the line. Especially today.

I may have gotten a demerit point and I probably deserve it, but I don't think another regular decent person with no self-boosting-egoistic ideals would put me down even further. You look at me and smile and say, "fail". And within me I'm containing this burning urge to just punch you really hard in the face and possibly break your bloody nose.

So yeah, rant over.

Happy CNY all.

Stuff

Long time no post.

Didn't go to school yesterday because of another big-ass headache plus cough and cold and stuff that makes me feel like shit. Then today had a lol-the-ground-is-shaking-is-it-an-earthquake headache. Which isn't nice.

First month of school has been blah. Usual random crap, new topics, new everything. And yeah, it's fun to see the new sec1s blur-blur and everything and when walking past them act really mature and cool. It's also nice to see that they are also better than the sec 2 batch in soccer.

2010

Well. It's 2010 now, a new decade, a new........year.

I have 2 New Year resolutions.

1) To have 2 newyearresolutions

2) To keep to the 2 new year resolutions.

On a slightly more serious note, its kind of funny to watch the sec1s and imagine us like them just a year ago. Makes you think about how fast 365 days have passed.

Group Celebrations

Which ended on a sad note, for me at least. Took MRT to AMK hub to meet with HAWK WHOO, then bought Alvin and the Chimpmunks 2 (OF ALL BLOODY MOVIES WE WATCH THIS) then lala around in the arcade then had lunch then watched the movie which was spastic then lalaed around somemore then uh. CHIONGED (took our time) to go to east coast park where everyone was lost because we had no idea where to find the Macdonalds. So we had to take a cab and waste money.

So we had to go to this jetty like 1+km from the macdonalds and we RAN (strolled) to the jetty only to find that we were given free time up to 7. It was 4:45 and we were 45 minutes late. -.-

So we lalaed around, tokcok then went to watch people bowl and go to arcade then went back to the jetty (btw I keep spelling jetty as jerry) for teh roflmao barbacue. So in between eating and patrol talk (screwing around) I took off my shoes and walked in the sand and let the sea wash over my feet and it wuz kewl lol. So there was some emoing then the post holders ceremony.

At least I managed to get a post. Then came the "Which ended on a sad note" news. 

I'm moving from Hawk to Owl.

Like seriously, why switch a sec1 when the year has been spent like bonding with the patrol and everything. I mean, the main point about 01 is for all the batch and patrol bonding and everything, so doesn't this defeat the purpose?

So everyone started emoing. Well, looking on the brighter side at least someone (deluded lol) thinks highly of me, so I suppose this is a chance to prove myself that I'm actually worthy of the post they gave me. And Roy is some kewl guy, and Ter's in my patrol so maybe it isn't really that bad.

Events

Here I am sitting at home in front of the computer and I'm back from NZ and I'm still suffering from jet lag and its been nearly a month since I posted. Past 3-4 weeks have been very busy, with GTC prep, GTC fear, GTC, falling sick, coming home, packing for holiday, then the trip itself.

A lot to write about. So bear with me or just close the page.

GTC. The usual stuff, first day, pumping blah blah inspection blah. Which sucked again as usual. Well, GTC inspection didn't suck as much as SUTC inspection, but it sitll sucked. So after the USUAL pumping blah blah blah, we had SRITs where our group's imba knowledge of first aid made us the proest. Then some other random stuff before hiking to Bukit Timah. -.- Bukit Timah of all places. Why couldn't we hike to like. Like, the school field or something.

Anyway. The sec2s told us the route was about 10km (I think? With all the turns and stuff). It felt like about 100 km. And according to another sec2, the next day's would be sooo much more enjoyable, with the sun and no wind and our uniform. I think if not for my bag I would have attempted to run across the road and hopefully get hit by a particularly fast oncoming taxi, but my stuff would all be squashed.

So we (ZOMGFINALLY) reached Bukit Timah CCAB where we collapsed and then had dinner then built bashas then pumped then continued building bashas then fell asleep then woke up again to do sentry then fell alseep. End of Day 1.

Day 2. Woke up nice and early to a brilliant breakfast of bread, baked beans etc. (BTW I'M NEVER FREAKING EATING BAKED BEANS AGAIN TYVM), then plotted our checkpoints and left. So we hiked. Hike hike hike, foam foam foam. Halfway through I had some big-ass headache so I half collapsed so Wayne took my bag but I was still foaming but I managed to reach the end point. Of Pasir Ris MRT station. Like -.-, Bukit Timah CCAB to Pasir Ris MRT station. Straight line distance would make it about 20km, which is appoximately half the width of Singapore. Plus our checkpoints and twists and turns and fail navigation would make it about 25-26km. I later found out that our route was supposed to be 26km, so its probably about 27 given our imba navigation.

So day 2 night we were supposed to have Survival Night. Midway through our basha building in the middle of freaking nowhere, it poured with rain. Like, seriously, poured. We got out and reached Tanah Merah ferry terminal, where we had some food and a FREAKING HOT MEAL WHOOO. Then we went back for our bags (when the rain stopped, like, obviously) and went to some random building to sleep.

Day 3 was almost exactly the same, except that I completed like a quarter of the hike. My headache started again but I stupidly went to volunteer to navigate and ended up failing quit badly because I couldn't concentrate. So a quarter way through the hike I half passed out and had to go with the teacher to drive me to West Coast park, the end point. So that day's hike was basically across Singapore. My headache didn't improve so I went home.

Then the NZ trip.

1st day: flying.

2nd day: resting at motel in Auckland

3rd day: drove to Paihia

4th day: 90mile beach tour (where I had motion sickness -.- and I kept falling asleep)

5th day: Hole in the rock cruise where I got owned by the wind because the boat was travelling like really fast.

6th day: Drove from Paihia to Hamilton, which took about 6 hours.

7th day: Drove from Hamilton to Taupo.

8th day: Huka falls jet, which is like a really fast boat ride with lots of twists and spins and stuff. Went for it twice. In the afternoon went for a helicopter ride to see the hotpools.

9th day: Drove from Taupo to Rotorua. Then went for like a luge thing. At one point there was this slope where I was going too fast and I was airborne for like a second then I fell so hard my ass hurt and I got dislodged from the luge and I couldn't control it properly then I was going so damn fast (like 40km/h) and I crashed into a corner and I flew off the luge and I landed in the grass and completed 2 full turns and I have 2 swells on my legs and my hip hurts.

10th/11th day: went to see geysers and stuff

12th day: Drove back to Auckland.

13th day: Flew back to SG (in the plane I watched G.I. Joe again lol)

Well.

That was a long post.

But all (good) things must come to an end.

So this post comes to an end.

-.-

Weh. I'm surprised the counter is still going up. I mean, why can't it go down?

Anyway. GTC is coming up in a week. Really nervous about it. Just spent the last few weeks slacking around, lazing, wasting my (awesome) brain away. Typical holidays. I suppose every holiday is the same, sometimes you even wish that school would come quicker. I think the term is "sian". Sigh. After GTC things would be much better, without the dread and thought of, "crap GTC is coming I'm going to die I'm going to die help me I'm going to die".

-.-

Gah. Realised I like saying -.- a lot.

Got my guitar already. Still quite lousy at it, but I'll go no where but up from here onwards. I mean, I can't go down, can I?

Btw yes I did that on purpose.

Quick update before I go do tuition work.

Just a quick update before I go do tuition work. So far results have been received, and I don't want to talk about any of them except history. Past few days have been slacking around and doing stupid surveys that feel like EoYs after the long period of brain degeneration. People bring laptops to school and play the CoDs, PvZ and all those random games.

Well. Everyone from 01 is getting in the mood of GTC now, so the discipline and pumping starts, the smiles drop, and our hands get dirty.

-End of Update. Be grateful that I'm actually doing this.-

EOEOYS

Hay. Exams over. Woot. Slacking time begins. Emoing continues.

Came back from Marc's house 3 hours ago. Went there at 3pm yesterday, played Halo etc., went to his grandparents' house, had dinner, went back to Marc's house, played, read, read, read, played, finally gave up and fell asleep at 7am. Woke up at 12, played some Halo matchmaking, then after lunch was Halo ODST campaign.

Just woke up an hour ago after falling asleep because I'm tired lol.

I'm strong on the surface, but not all the way through

And maybe not that strong on the surface either.

Although I'm supposed to be on a hiatus, I just have to get this off me.

For this entire year I've been hiding behind the usual facade of laughter and being laid-back, although admittedly that is what I always do. But now I'm not so sure whether that's even a good thing.

I'm surrounded by people who are really good in academics, and having my name always at the bottom of the class actually, despite how I react when I first hear it, is really depressing. Of course, I can have the usual defense that academics isn't everything, but its not that simple. I'm torn between continuing with the usual bullshit of just screwing around and enjoying life as it is (terrible), and getting the typical "I'm going to mug now so go away" attitude which seems to have come over most people I know.

Yet, even if I continue as I am, I'm not even sure that's a good thing. Laughing everything off might be good in the short term, but I'm sensing that most people regard me as a fail. In class I just laugh and pretend to ignore it, but deep down I feel more and more uncomfortable and insecure.

I've also been a hypocrite, and I have to apologise to all those people (not many xD) who I've been an asshole to, argued with or just generally get rather pissed off at. I suppose most of the time its probably my fault, yet I still continue to argue. I'm starting to feel really insecure, like to my closer friends, I'm starting to wonder whether they stick with me because I stick with them and their just being nice and not asking me to screw off, or they really treat me as a friend. 1 year, or even 6 months ago, I've never had this feeling before, but this is becoming more frequent every day.

I've been meaning to post this for some time, but just couldn't bring myself to do it. I don't know if I'm just burying myself under a facade, hoping that it would all somehow go away. This is the first time I've ever felt so under pressure and insecure, not even during PSLE. The timing of this post is quite crap, just after my birthday and just before EoYs.

I can't really find many words to express what I'm currently feeling, although I find Linkin Park's songs have a lot of relevance. I suppose you have to read deeper into the lyrics to figure out how I'm really feeling.

Crawling - Linkin Park
Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real


There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming/confusing
This lack of self-control I fear is never ending
Controlling/I can't seem


To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence, I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure

Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting/reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It`s haunting how I can't seem...

To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence, I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure

Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing, confusing what is real
(There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface)
Consuming, confusing what is real
(This lack of self-control I fear is never ending)
Controlling, confusing what is real.

Test/Exams

Gah. Recently there has been a lot of test being given out. Can't say I did exceedingly well, but I did manage to pass maths, despite my emo angsting that I would fail. I actually passed :D, by one mark though -.-

Got back English compre today, pwnt everyone with mah 22/25. Lost to Gabriel though.

LOL filmed science advertisement today. I washed my hair and applied the shampoo, but since I'm totally do not have a crew cut the foam didn't appear. After I delegated my responsibilities to Mr. YY since he has like more hair than me, we filmed the thing. Well, we filmed scene 1 and 3 where my filming was pro.

Then did scene 2 after several million dry runs and trials and failures.

Gah going on a hiatus until after EoYs, just like (mostly) everyone who has a blog.

Mugging/EOYs

They go hand-in-hand, unfortunately. Firstly, I'd like to thank the same guy whom I'm having an MSN conversation with for asking me (FORCING ME) to write this post.

Actually I'm posting this when I'm supposed to be mugging, unfortunately once again. After this I'll probably go finish up the Maths Supp Ex that I really need to complete if I don't want my Maths score to be so pathetically low as compared to the rest of my class. Sad.

On the bright side, once EOYs are over, its slacking time! I probably won't pon school with the excuse of bronchitis but I'll just go there and stone. And stuff. Lol.

On the other hand, Mr 01 people like moi have certain things such as GTC and GTC preparation (TERENCE AND JUNXIANG YOU BETTER NOT FREAKING PON OR YOU DAI) to look forward to (um I mean dread). I just realised that GTC is made from the worst of Night Hike and SUTC.

I have come up with a recipe for GTC.

Item: GTC
Ingredients: Sadistic J1s, suanning manly people, Worst of Night Hike, Worst of SUTC, 5 days to spare.
Preparation: Extract the worst of night hike and SUTC with the method of crystallisation, since night hike and SUTC are mentally unstable. After this, roll the two together and beat well. Pump them as well. Roll them out flat with a rolling pin and make them do inspection. Then, add 5 days to the mixture and stir well. Make them walk well too. Then, put it in the microwave oven for 5 days, followed by rain for 3 days. Serve warm.

Well

First of all I need to thank a small boy from my class who I'm currently talking to on MSN for giving me inspiration to write this post. Due to extreme pressure from him I shall not describe or talk more about his size :D

Can't really think about much to write about, especially since the whole week has been dull and repetitive. Except that today's swimming lesson for PE pwned. It was the first time I actually had a proper swim for like 2 years, so it was kinda refreshing today. And I also realised I forgot how to do freestyle xD

So.

The Irony

Nothing to post now so I'll leave you with this.

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but
shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more,
but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and
smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees
but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more
problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little,
drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read
too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too
much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to
life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but
have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered
outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better
things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom,
but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but
accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more
computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but
we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small
character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of
two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are
days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night
stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to
quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and
nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to
you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to
just hit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going
to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because
that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the
only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but
most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes
from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will
not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious
thoughts in your mind.

Pioneering + Night Hike act

I don't usually post this often but I feel obliged to after a foamy camp on Saturday/Sunday.

Reached BWL at about 7:50.

Talk cock for a while, helped with the poles. After briefing went to start building stuff. Started on the (???)trachsel(???). The whole thing passed in kind of a blur, all I remember throughout the process of tying the ropes and poles is that the Oreos by John were pwnage and so were the soft drinks.

Then we had to erect the structure. Epically failed 2 out of 3 we built. First one went up in the second try. Second one, one of the poles cracked. Third one, one of the lashings came loose and a pole nearly GGed someone on the head.

Then dismantled structure and general clearing of mess. Went back to RI, briefing, shower, SPAM PRICKLY HEAT, refill bottle, prepare for hike etc. Dinner at J8.

Hike started at RPMRT. Basically just walked, walked, walked, break, walk, walk, walk, walk etc. Then we were changing the lyrics to some common songs. "Let's take a break this hike is shit, I really really need your first aid kit" etc. Time passed kinda quickly that way.

Finally reached RI at 2am after 6 hours of hiking. Needless to say, we were all half asleep standing up and our legs were dying. So we went to sleep etc.

Next day had some ossum Macs breakfast with JX and Terence LOL.

If not for the foaminess and the aching legs it actually would be kinda fun :D

Quick post

Just a quick post before I go for tuition =(. Why can't they banish tuition into some far corner of Africa. Life would be so much easier.

Anyway. Results so far have been like shit. Failed CL, barely passed History, but a reasonable but still below average for Maths. I still got 15/20 for poetry test though, so suan everyone who didn't get as high :D

Ok maybe I'll post like 3 times a month or something. That's quite demanding.

And my internet modem is screwed up. Keeps DCing.

EDIT: LOL I FORGOT TO POST ABOUT THE EX-TNS GATHERING

Lol.

Outing was fun. Reached TNS at about 11+. Reached there, saw Marc and some other people. Found Anton at the bookstore so we started to make fun of him (LOLLOLLLLLOLOOOOLOLOLLLOL).

Crapped around for a while, talk to people. Everyone looked so freaking different o.0

Went up to the hall, watched the speech, then the dance. The dance was fail, they were dancing to "Nobody" and they were totally rubbish. Anyway, during the Chinese drama club presentation thingy, Reynold decided to be evil to the JLJH and zhao before he could catch up with us since no one wanted him to come for the movie too. Lol. Plan failed. So we went to play soccer, then attempted to meet the teachers, but they entire corridor was like packed with students.

So at like 2 we left for Tampines Mall. Bus 31. Ate at KFC (DAMN NICE) then went to book tickets. Before that we were arguing which one to watch. Then went outside to play truth or dare. Damn retarded. Then the epic moment came.

I FREAKING SAW GERALD CHOA KAI KIT AND HE LOOKS SO............

Weird.

Voice changed, some manly mature deeeeeeeeeeeeeep voice. Specs change, some cool red thing which still looks retarded, but not as fail as the previous one. Emo clothes again. Sigh. People change so much after just a few short months.

Watched "Up", which I guess was ok and sort of touching but not really the sort I'm looking for. I probably can understand the themes of friendship & relationships etc. but doesn't appeal to me lol. Wanted to watch G.I. Joe. After that went home with Dommy, but we stopped at some bubble tea shop and I bought grass jelly because it pwns.

Lol fun.

*END OF EDIT (LOLWUT LONG POST -.-)*

zzz

Something happened to blogger? It looks retarded.

Anyway. Haven't posted for like a while. Lol. Too busy, too bored, too lazy.

The past few weeks have been quite crap. Tests, exhausting 01 acts etc.

LOL SET NEW HIGH SCORE FOR TTC VIVA LA VIDA LOLOLOLOL.

zzz.

The tests were largely ok. Science practical was somewhat easy. Maths too (although I got the last part of the last question wrong -.-)

OK THERE I'VE FREAKING POSTED SO SHUT UP ABOUT ME NOT POSTING KTHXBAI.

Poms

Lol I finally finished the first draft of one of my poems, the narrative.

Took a dang long time to come up with it, even so, its quite miserable and pathetic. Maybe I'll just post the first stanza?

EDIT: I JUST DELETED MY POM BECAUSE ITS SO DAMN EMBARRASSING.